The Gender Tag & My Own Experiences

1. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that definition mean to you?

I identify as female. This doesn’t confine me to the gender roles that are associated with women. To me being a woman is powerful and beautiful, and that also applies to any other gender. I’m very confident in what I identify as.
2. What pronouns honor you?

I use she/her pronouns
3. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.

I tend to wear whatever is comfortable. Since I’ve cut my hair short into a pixie cut, I haven’t quite felt comfortable in dresses, but that’s my own problem with stereotypes I’ve heard throughout my life. I’ve always worn plaid and whatever jeans I feel like wearing, and rarely dress up.
4. Talk about your choices with body hair. How do you style your hair? Do you have facial hair? What do you choose to shave, or choose not to shave?

I’ve been growing out my hair a bit recently because I have a school homecoming dance next month, but will be cutting it back to a pixie cut as soon as it’s over. I don’t have facial hair because my sex is the same as the gender I identify as. I shave my armpits, and will usually shave my legs around once a week. However, I’ve been really interested in dyeing my leg hair thanks to Amanda’s Chronicles on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIR9Ah1RyxE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBqcr-JVDpc
5. Talk about cosmetics. Do you choose to wear makeup? Do you paint your nails? What types of soaps and perfumes do you use if any?

I wear makeup if I feel like I want to. I don’t wear makeup for anyone but myself, although I used to wear makeup almost everyday a few years ago. When I decided to stop wearing makeup daily, I felt almost like I was letting myself go. Soon my viewpoints changed, though. The less I wore makeup, the more I felt like I was truly being myself to others. I didn’t have to put on a mask for other people. I can now look in the mirror and truly think, “I am beautiful”. On the days I do wear makeup, I don’t wear much. I take on the approach “less is more” to enhance my own natural face. I sometimes paint my nails, but other times I won’t because I play guitar and have a nervous habit of picking all the polish off. I bathe daily, if that’s what the last question was asking. I usually don’t wear perfume, even though I own some, because I forget to put it on.
6. Have you experienced being misgendered? If so, how often?

I think I’ve only been misgendered once, and that was by a man in the shopping mall around Chrtistmastime last year. I had just gotten my hair cut off. I was shopping for a scarf with my grandma. The sales clerk asked me, with my back turned to him, “Need any help, guys?”. He didn’t see my grandma at the time, I assume. Once I turned around he quickly corrected himself and said, “Ma’am.” It didn’t bother me quite that much. I mostly thought it was funny because he ended up being too apologetic about it.
7. Do you experience dysphoria? How does that affect you?

I’ve never experienced dysphoria that I know of.
8. Talk about children. Are you interested in having children? Would you want to carry a child if that were an option for you? Do you want to be the primary caretaker for any children you may have?

I’m interested in adopting children of my own, but I’ve never wanted to carry a child. I think my partner and myself would both be the caretaker of children equally.
9. Talk about money. Is it important to you to provide for a family financially if you choose to have one? Is it important to you that you earn more than any partner you may have? Do you prefer to pay for things like dates? Are you uncomfortable when others pay for you or offer to pay for you?

For me it’s important to provide for my family, but I wouldn’t feel pressured to make more than my spouse. As for paying for dates, I think the best option is to split the check. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable when others pay for me because I don’t want to be a money grubber or anything. I prefer to pay for my own things so as to not feel that way.
10. Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?

Story Time!

Now I don’t know if this qualifies as an answer for one of the prior questions, but I’m going to proceed anyways. Around June of this year I decided to start doing costume makeup. In the recent months I have been interested in cosplaying and genderbent character roles. The first time I ever made myself look like a guy was this past summer. I applied my makeup and contoured my face to look like Sam Winchester from Supernatural. I was so shocked with the transformation that I didn’t want to remove the makeup. At the time I started questioning my gender, and if I was genderfluid. I soon realized that was not the case. I may seem ignorant in that sense, but I haven’t had extensive experience with gender. I’ve never really questioned that aspect of myself because I never felt the need to. I’m glad, though, that I have decided to start applying costume makeup on myself because of how much enjoyment I get from seeing the end product.

My point is: as long as you’re comfortable with who you are, and are open to yourself, you can begin to love yourself as who you truly are.

I’m Taking a Ghost to Prom

Tonight was one of the shittiest nights of my week.

But it was awfully amazing.

Abby, as I have mentioned in past posts, invited me to go with her to a ghost bus tour (get it? like ghostbuster?) in our hometown. Our expectations were semi-high before the coach bus arrived. They were soon crushed with the realization that the bus was full of senior citizens and would soon be perused by underpaid actors in cheesy costumes. Keep in mind that these “actors” soon became the ghosts for the night’s attraction. We boarded the bus, and found that we were the youngest people on the bus except for a poor 7 year old girl who seemed ecstatic over seeing actual ghosts. As Abby pointed out, she even wore her orange jack-o-lantern shirt. I wore a Supernatural t-shirt because, well, I tend to dress in coordination with the theme of events without even realizing it from time to time. I can’t tell you much about the tour because I was too busy making terrible puns about the “ghosts'” names. The woman that led our trip looked identical to Phyllis on The Office, but sounded more along the lines of that one heavy set guy on Modern Family. Sorry, I’ve never seen the show, but I’ve seen plenty of the previews for it waiting for the Goldbergs to play on ABC.

The best part of the tour was this: I asked a ghost girl to prom.

Let me explain:

At the beginning of the tour we were riding past a lot of weird looking ladies holding signs up. Don’t worry, it was all part of the act; we don’t have protests where I live. We’re all too lazy over here to care about any issues except Donald Trump. At one point I pointed out a girl in the crowd who was extremely pretty. At that moment I didn’t realize that she would eventually be coming onto the bus. Around the last 20 minutes of the tour, Phyllis-lady introduced her as… well, I don’t quite remember her name. Her story was very memorable though: she was supposed to go to a ball, and ended up not going (I didn’t really care by the time this happened. I was just ready to leave the bus). She came in crying with her makeup smeared and her dress ripped, and started walking down the aisle. She asked someone near the front of the bus if her dress was nice, and she began walking our way. This was our moment, okay? She starts walking all the way to the back of the bus where Abby and I were sitting; I was in the seat closest to the aisle. That’s when she asks “Do you think I’d have had a good time at the ball?” I proceed to stutter out “Y-y-yes.” As she’s walking away, I mutter loud enough for her to hear, “I’d go with you.”

We were allowed to take pictures later with the cast, but Abby and her mom were ready to leave immediately. I can’t really blame them honestly.

However, I will always recall the day I almost had a ghost girlfriend and almost took her to prom.